No retreat. No regrets.

It’s strange to think where I was this time last year, how I felt. It hasn’t hit me yet but I know it’s coming. Once I’m alone, probably on the plane, maybe in the airport, some time when I’m not with my siblings and boyfriend, it’s going to hit me. I can’t believe the year flew by this quickly. I can’t believe it’s been this long since I saw his face, held his hand, hugged his huge body tightly. It’s been over a year since we spoke, since he pushed me to class or picked me up. I think about him every day. I smile at my tattoo and at the memories of the good times. I smile knowing that although I lost a friend, I gained his family. I smile to know that he changed me as a person, for the better. He was a wonderful person and I am better for having known him. A year ago, I couldn’t imagine my life without him, but now I can’t imagine where I would be today without this experience. I would do anything to have him back, but I’m so lucky to have had him in the first place.

I love you, big guy.